Another TAWAKUL Story

Because I believe in God I therefore believe in Miracles and in His blessings. Because I believe in Him, I do believe in his eternal bounty and in His Mercy. Because I believe in Him, I trust His words and His promises. There comes moments in our lives when certain events "hit" us and keep us in great wonder ... and you ask yourself; what just happened? Is this real? Then you realize that Yes it is real because you put your trust between the hands of The AL Mighty the Creator of All things and He who knows and sees and hears All things. Today, I can humbly say that God sent me a sign. And I will tell you more about it later tonight because I'd like for you and me to strongly believe that acts of kindness are always rewarded , sooner or later ... and sometimes it happens right away; SubhanAllah.

True story:

Those who know me well and know my passions and my struggles will know that I have no reason to `` beautify `` a reality. In other words, they will and I pray that you too will, believe me.

There are days when everything seems to be as dark as the deepest sea and every time I try to think of a way out, it just looks ``impossible`` or I don`t understand why certain things are happening and why do I have to deal with certain battles in my life. (just like all of us). And then, ``out of the blue`` something happens, a new door opens, a stranger comes into your life and helps you out, an angel perhaps? Or maybe this is the result of a good action that we did in the past or not too long ago? Or perhaps it`s thanks to the duaa (prayers and supplications) of our parents, grandparents and our loves ones? Regardless of all this, it`s all with the blessings and plans which God has chosen for us.

In the pas days, weeks and up to yesterday, every time I faced a hardship, I was greeted but with a smile and a solution popped out of nowhere. Just to name a FEW examples:

Like in the weekend when I forgot my phone and metro card at home. Once inside the bus, I realized that I didn`t even have coins to pay. I look at the driver and say: `` Good morning sir, i`m sorry I forgot my phone and tickets and card at home, my mom (who`s with me) will pay for both of us.`` He smiles, he blocked the machine with his hand and didn`t let us pay. He said: ``Please Madame, because you`ve been honest with me and told the truth, I really want to pay for you this time. I kindly refused and said: ``We have the money right here we can pay, thank you``. He insisted, we thanked him for his act of kindness and that made our day.

Or like the day I went to a coffee shop and after I placed my order, the cashier said: `` That`s OK madame, someone already paid for you.`` and I kept searching trying to find WHO did it so I can thank him or her.  

Or In the middle of an important battle with all the stress and pain that comes with it, I had no other solution but to give up to my ``fate`` and simply get ready and be prepared to ``fight`` and to be mentally prepared to lose and to survive. Winning this battle in particular seemed impossible. And again, out of the blue, I don`t know what happened exactly until this day, but everything stopped and therefore, the battle too stopped.

Yesterday evening, I was talking with my family about the conditions and procedures of paying my Zakat (Zakat Al Maal) which is (alms-giving) that I must pay for this year. I wanted my mom`s opinion on where should my zakat go this year? We both agreed that I should send it back home for a specific young lady and her family. Converting the money from Canadian Dollar to Egyptian pound, it`s quite an important amount, and I was so happy AlHamdolellah (All praise to God) that this could really change the life of an entire family (InshaAllah – with the Will of God). So after we agreed on everything and I said `` Tawakal 3ala Allah`` ( I put my trust and reliance in Allah), I heard many beeps on my phone, one after the other. (notifications that i`m receiving e-mails).

I ran to my laptop saying to myself, there must be a mistake. Who`s sending me alllllll these emails??? I just had received 12 new emails from work! I thought to myself: This IS a VIRUS. This has never happened ever since I worked with this agency. So I call the secretary and ask him: what`s going on? Is this real or it`s a virus? He laughs and says: No no Nermine this is not a virus, you`ve been chosen the best interpreter of the year (giggles). Then he explains that I have indeed received TWELVE new demands (twelve individual contracts) for Interpretation!!!  He explained that I will be receiving 5 more!

I was in awe!

Do you know what`s even more beautiful and surprising? When I added up all the new Interpretation demands I just received, I swear by He who created the Moon and the Sun and that was very much equal to the Zakat that I was discussing with my family less than 5 minutes ago!!! So the amount that i just gave up for the sake of God to help another, came back to me less than 5 minutes later. SubhanAllah.

 I share this long introduction and story (among many others) with you, because I want you too, to put ALL your TRUST (Tawakul) in God. Trust Him with everything, anywhere and at all times. Acts of kindness, helping the other and believing  in His words and promises  will always pay back.

Give Zakat no matter what is your situation. Don`t you ever think that you will get poorer by giving. Don’t  think of tomorrow which is not here yet.

I pray for you and me, that we always find refuge in Him. That we always find someone around us to lift us up and to serve as a ``Reminder`` that the Mercy of God is GREAT and ETERNAL.

Walk in Peace,

Nermine.

A prayer from a healing heart,

As millions of people celebrate New Year 2017, I celebrate a new beginning by choosing to close an old chapter in my life. I celebrate with a little prayer that has big meanings. I pray for you and me to be blessed with Good Health, I pray that we get closer to our Creator, to strengthen our Faith in Him and in humanity; to love more and to hate less; to overcome our desire of revenge and hate by leaving our destiny between the hands of the One who sees and hears all things, to the One who’s the Best of Avengers.  To purify our hearts and to walk in peace. Now say AMINE (آمين  / Amen).  

 What I wish the most right now is to shut forever the door that brought in my life so much pain and to leave the people who were the cause of this pain, behind that door and to never look back.  I’ve learned a great deal from my mistakes and from the one person who entered my life and who inflicted me with great sadness. This experience has left many scars so that it always reminds me of many things and lessons. However, as the proverb says: “what doesn't kill you makes you stronger” (ما لا يقتلك يجعلك أقوي).  

I’m learning to grieve in order to get stronger, I’m learning from my mistakes in order to never fall in the same trap again and to help other women. I’m carrying my heart in my hands in order to feel every muscle and every beat so that I can remind myself that I’m still alive. I’m learning to listen to the too many voices in my head, to the flashbacks and to push them away when needed. I’m learning to be a better person and to come back stronger and healthier in mind and body. I’m learning to say NO and I’m learning to live for me and for my daughter. I’m learning to make myself my own priority because I too deserve to be happy and to come first instead of always serving others.

I’m learning to totally rely on God and to fully absorb the true meaning of the word “Reliance” (تَوَكُّل) and to believe in His words: “…But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not”. (وَعَسَى أَنْ تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَكُمْ وَعَسَى أَنْ تُحِبُّوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ لَكُمْ وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنْتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ).  And to be certain that: “For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease".  (فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا).

I’m also trying to learn to “Leave tomorrow alone until it comes”. To not worry about what I can’t see and about what’s not here yet. I’m learning to rejoice every moment of today and this is happening right now! It’s a natural human reaction to be sad but I’m learning to not be sad for too long because my Creator is watching over me: “Don’t be sad, Allah is with us.” (لا تَحْزَنْ إِنَّ اللَّهَ مَعَنَا ) .

I must also remind myself and strongly believe in the concept of Destiny (قدر‎‎) which is one of the 6 pillars of faith (أركان الإيمان). To remember that everything in this life is meant to be (even if we do not understand it yet). To remember that there’s greater worries and that this world (دنيا) is a big test.  There’s also another important reminder from God which says: “If Allah loves a people, then he afflicts them with trials. Whoever is patient has the reward of patience, and whoever is impatient has the fault of impatience”. (إذا أحب الله قوما ابتلاهم , فمن صبر فله الصبر , ومن جزع فله الجزع). Allah SWT tests us with hardship and also prosperity in order to validate the sincerity of our faith. And as many say, perhaps Allah SWT is eager to hear our voice and is eager to hear our supplications (دعا ). Perhaps it’s indeed a reminder to turn to Him again and again.

There are days where I wish I could stand on a hill and yell at the top of my lungs to release all the pressure and anger. There will be moments of weakness because we are humans! But we need to remember that “when the World pushes you to your knees, you are in the best position to pray”.

 I will pray for patience (صبر) and I will pray for true friends who will always remind me (ذكر) that God is always present and is always near.  

I pray to be a better person, for myself and for my daughter. I pray to teach her how to impose respect and to never let anyone and no Man to ever put her down, to never count on people but rather on her Creator, to be strong in mind, faith and health. I will teach her not to lie and not to be a hypocrite.  I will do all I can to teach her the best manners. Teach her to help, love and respect others. To give more, to help and feed the needy and to never despair. I will teach her to say NO and I will teach her to choose for herself and to never give up to anyone’s pressure, to never be controlled or manipulated. I will teach her to fear ALLAH s.w.t and NO ONE ELSE BUT HIM.

Amine. Amine. Amine.

Walk in peace,

Nermine Barbouch

نرمين، أم ساره

P e r f e c t i o n

 

Perfection belongs to the One & Only, to the Creator of all Mankind and of All things. He who seeks perfection in this dunyah (life) shall die and never find it, except in Paradise.

Unlike what many say … do not pursue a mirage. Perfection is one of them.

Walk in peace,

Nermine B.